When you first get together it's hot and heavy all the time.
When you first get together it's hot and heavy all the time. Do you remember those days? When you jump each other’s bones almost the moment he gets off the plane, and if you're still there that’s awesome and I’m jealous. But if you’re like me and a bit older, children come on board or life gets busy, or hubby arrives home from nightshift, and is pretty much asleep on his feet, it’s goodbye to those hot heavy hellos.
Before children it was easy, we had more energy, were younger so our sex drives were on high, less stress and not as busy. Now we need to almost schedule sex when the kids are at school, sleeping or consumed in doing something, and when our days haven’t been exhausting, so we can lock ourselves in our bedroom for a quickie.
Now that we are not 20-30, it’s the energy and tiredness, so exercise and vitamins help keep the sex drive up and running, and encourage our stamina to last the distance. We have also been married a while so it’s important to keep things fresh and spicy, different and spontaneous. I personally prefer mornings for our fun due to the energy factor and that kids are still in bed, but we also try to spice up our sex life with nights away or just simple sneaking off with the thrill of not being caught by the kids.
As a couple to add some spice once, we brought a special molding kit to mold my husband to create a vibrator. So now when he goes away, he always leaves one part behind.
While we are apart – I like to tease him while on video chat with sexy bra or boobs flash, or insinuate something sex related to make him smile. We send each other sexy pictures and text messages to also keep the spice up. This is a nice surprise to wake up to and even better to go to sleep too.
I’m not afraid to self-satisfy. Now this can be as simple as a quick external vibe and great imagination or a vibe and a warm shower. Although a warning from a mistake I made, lock the bathroom door if you choose shower satisfaction. I was enjoying my alone shower when one of my children walks in and asks me why my face is all screwed up lol. Hmm as red as I went, I thought quick and replied that I accidently scratched myself while washing and it hurt lol.
When my partner is home and we are together and besides locking ourselves in our bedroom, I like to put on sexy lingerie under my night robe and give him a sneak peek, right as he goes to read to the kids for the night so he knows what’s coming, or what I want and to tease him. We have also over the years done role playing, adult toys, sexy outfits/costumes, wearing white in the rain, watching a porn together, coupon books, massage and I have even on more than one occasion, rocked up to airport pick up in nothing but lingerie and long trench coat with knee high boots. He likes that.
My tip is don’t be afraid to ask him what his fantasy is or tell him yours. They like to know what turns you on and take turns initiating sex and being the one to take control of the situation. It is very satisfying being the one in charge.
So, to spice my sex life up besides what I mentioned already, I keep the sexual innuendo talk up during our video chats, I read erotic romance novels, I wear sexy underwear for me and for him, I like to show him cleavage views and sexy touching when I know it will arouse him but not be able to do anything about it until later, and of course self-satisfying when he’s away, a girl has needs too.
What do you do to spice things up? Join the discussion here.